So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize