My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
