i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
