Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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