I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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