life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
