this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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