I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
