My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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