i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
