The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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