I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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