i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
