sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
