I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
