Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
