For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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