google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize