would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
