hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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