He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
