Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
