I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
