I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
