Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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