hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
