im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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