trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
