a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
