By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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