She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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