Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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