Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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