id be glad to
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So. Much. Porn.
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