I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
