Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
