I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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