Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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