i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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