All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
