My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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