She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
