is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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