Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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