In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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