Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
