I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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