Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
