If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
