why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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