We're facebook friends in real life
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
