just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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