when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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