she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
