Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
