I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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