One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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