Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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