This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
