He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
