Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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