Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
