I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
