i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
