Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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