He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
