Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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