Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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