i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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