please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
