you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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