What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
