who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
