i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
