We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
