Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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