Can i not drive my cunt home
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
