i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
