it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
