Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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