Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
