Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
