my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
