Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
