Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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