Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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