I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
