singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
